Every Ounce of Hesitation Kills Me Inside

My internet connection is very crappy, I think I’ll get angry if they let me pay what’s due for the 3 months of inconvenience. As you can see, I’m very dependent to the internet. There are many things I can’t do and start without it, first and foremost my thesis. I can’t find journal articles for it (really now, I read them) and even in my requirements. Moreover, I can’t post here in this blog :(

But more importantly(not sure of any grammar shizz here),

I can’t talk to her.

This song is 1901 by Phoenix which was covered by Birdy. I played the song over and over again for the past hour, I don’t know if my blocmates (because I’m in school using the wifi inside the laboratory) is already irritated but still amused that someone knew that version of the song (since this song is generally playing in NBA 2K13). I didn’t really understand the song but I liked the feel for it so I shared it here. Searching for the lyrics, I stumbled upon a “Lyric Meaning Site” and encountered this interpretation by a person under the username “Frynfyer” that goes like this:

Take an image of a couple in confrontation about their relationship. The song is portrayed from the man’s perspective, and he his thoughts are detached from the moment and drifting away as she’s speaking. She’s talking about things that have happened between them in the past and what they have to do now to fix it. He doesn’t care and is not even following her logic, because to him it all doesn’t matter — the future’s been sorted out. He knows the relationship is not going to work out and has no illusions over it.

She grabs his attention, “Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.” This is urgent for her — she’s on the verge of breaking up. He’s still not taking it seriously. To him her troubles are trivial. He’s thinking that they should just fall back to bed, have sex, and enjoy themselves like they have before. He knows the relationship won’t last and won’t even bother give her the impression that it will. He’s going to fold this one and move on.

In between her protests, his thoughts drift away again. He’s relating his situation to that of Paris in the late 19th century. Paris was bustling and great then when they built the Eiffel Tower, which they thought was an eyesore that would eventually go away — but it didn’t. Now Paris is stuck in the past while the world is moving on. In the same way, his relationship with his girlfriend was great in the past, but he knows better now. Rather than investing to build an Eiffel tower of their relationship and glorify their past, he’s going avoid the fate of Paris and move on.

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